We all know at least one person that drains the life out of us. But, what exactly is a negative person? According to Psychology Today, a negative person is a pessimistic person who tends to be disagreeable and skeptical. They are oftentimes irritable, downbeat, hopeless, and sad. It’s a person who never has anything positive to say and gets jealous often. We can spot these people a mile away based on how they make us feel. But, how do you know you’re not one of them? This can be tricky. The way others view us and the way we view ourselves doesn’t always match up. You may think you’re just joking and your likable person, but that doesn’t mean others see you the same way. What’s worse is the people with sunny dispositions usually won’t tell you that you’re a Debbie Downer. So, how do you know if you are a negative person?
- You get jealous of others. If you’re co-workers promotion sends you into a tirade about how they didn’t deserve the promotion, then you might want to ask yourself why you feel that way.
- Everything is black and white. If you refuse to see the grey area you may be a little more closed minded than you think you are.
- You think you’re better or more important than everyone else. We should all value ourselves. In fact, recognizing your own self worth is a positive attribute. But, if you constantly one-up everyone around you, you may want to ask yourself why you feel the need to be better than everyone else.
- You’re Mr. or Mrs. Conspiracy Theorist. If you always think someone is out to get you then you’re probably more negative than you realize.
- If you always place blame on everyone else, you might be the problem. Let’s be honest, it’s not always their fault. No one is perfect. No one expects you to be perfect. What they do expect is for you to admit when you make a mistake and apologize.
- You’re always mad about something. Everyone gets mad from time to time. We’re human. But, if you’re mad most of the time then maybe you should ask yourself why.
- You’re never grateful. Everyone has something they should be grateful for. I don’t care how bad your life is, there is something you should be grateful for.
- You’re always pessimistic. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re a realist either. There’s a difference. A realist is someone who accepts a situation for what it is. A pessimist is someone who only sees the bad in things. It’s literally in the definition of a negative person.
- You never spend time in the moment. If you can’t sit back and enjoy your life in the present, it may be because you’re unhappy with your current situation.
- You get mad when you don’t get your way. If it’s your way of the highway, you may have a problem. Every relationship requires give and take in order for it to work.
- You don’t really like yourself. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, then other people will pick up on that and not want to be around you.
- Which brings me to…people don’t invite you. If your invitations are dwindling, then people might be trying to avoid you. No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer.
- If you feel like you can’t rely on anyone you might have some trust issues you should work out.
- If you’re always pointing out everyone else’s faults, you might want to think about why you only focus on their faults and not their positive traits. We all have good and bad traits. It’s unfair to base your opinion on someone solely on their flaws.
- If people stop sharing their good news with you, then it might be because they’re afraid that you’ll rain on their parade.
- Bonus: You pick fights with everyone!
So You’re A Negative Person, Now What?
If you went through the list of negative traits and checked off more than you would’ve liked, then the good news is the power to change comes from within. And, the first step to change is admitting you have a problem. Hey, at least you’re on the right path! There are several easy steps you can take to help change your disposition. It won’t happen overnight, but if you make a habit of it, overtime you’ll start to notice that it becomes second nature. Not only will you notice, but your friends and family will too.
- Start a gratitude journal. Every day list 3 things that made you feel grateful throughout the day. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, you just have to find 3 things you were grateful for that day. Actually write it down too. It may sound silly, but writing it down helps your brain accept it as true. Don’t believe me, check out the book “The Power of Writing It Down” by Allison Fallon. It’s a good read. While we’re on the topic, did you know that you’re 42% more likely to accomplish a goal if you write it down? It’s true!
- Every time you point out a fault in someone, stop and think about what could be contributing to the circumstance. Sometimes knowing the back story can completely alter your perspective of someone.
- Spend at least 10 minutes every day in the moment. Literally stop and smell the roses. Taking a walk outside is a great way to get you in the moment. Focus on the sounds and smells of nature. Look at all the beauty around you. Spring is my favorite time of year. The weather is perfect, the sun sets a little bit later, and I love the way all the fragrant trees smell when they first start to blossom.
- Focus on eating healthy and working out. People who are unhealthy are unhappy with themselves. If you don’t like yourself, then what makes you think anyone else will?
- Take some pride in how you dress. You don’t have to walk around all dressy, but you do need to like the way you look. If you don’t like your clothes, you’re not going to feel good about yourself. So pick the clothes that put you in a good mood.
- Spray on a little perfume. This may not be for everyone, but it’s definitely a mood booster for me. I love perfume and the perfume I choose depends on what type of mood I want to be in.
- Have more sex. It’s well known that sex has many health benefits including lower blood pressure, improved self-esteem (provided you’re doing it for the right reason), better sleep, increased libido, decreased anxiety and depression. If you don’t have a partner at the moment, don’t worry solo works too. It’s the orgasm you’re after.
- Give compliments. You’d be amazed at how good it can make you feel when you appreciate others. So the next time co-worker does an awesome job on a project, tell them. If you like someone’s outfit, tell her or him. Not only is it nice to get compliments, it’s also nice to give them.
- Help someone out. Being kind makes others feel better, and also makes you feel better too. Don’t worry about whether you’re doing for the right reason. It’s a win-win.
- Make a list of goals, and accomplish them. Checking off your goals is a great confidence booster. Real confident people aren’t negative.