There are two types of people in this world, those that hate and those that focus on self improvement. Haters will always spew their hate, and it has nothing to do with what they “hate”. Seriously, next time you find yourself hating something, maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself why you hate it so much. Do you really hate what you say you hate? Or, are just feeling insecure about yourself and using hate as a distractor? I’ve got $100 bill that says you’re trying to distract both yourself and others from your own perceived flaws. Go ahead, try and prove me wrong! The funny thing is most people are so focused on themselves that they didn’t even noticed your flaws until you started yelling about everyone else’s. Taylor Swift had it right when she said, “you need to calm down, you’re being too loud.”
Let’s be honest, the only person you can control is yourself. It’s futile to even try and change someone else. If they don’t want to change, guess what? They aren’t changing. Period. Trust me, I’ve tried. My sister’s still a drug addict that can’t hold onto a job. Thousands of dollars and many failed attempts of help later and the only thing that’s changed is I’ve learned that change comes from within. So quit focusing on trying to help them and start helping yourself. That might sound severe, but it’s true and you know it! Feel free to apply this to other areas of your life. Seriously! Focusing on the negative only brings on more negativity. The world already has plenty of that going around, why add more?
So, the real question isn’t how do we combat hate? It’s how do we build ourselves up so strong that the hate has no impact? You want to be so secure and confident that you can laugh off any and all misdirected hate. Now, I’m not saying that all criticism is misdirected hate. That’s not true either. Criticism is different than hate. While criticism sometimes comes off as a hateful comment, deep down you’ll know if there is any air of truth in it.
Questions You Should Ask Yourself When Confronted With Hate
- Is there any truth in this comment whatsoever? In order to really answer this, you’re going to have to actually listen to the other person’s perspective. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to accept their point of view, but you do need to listen. Sometimes people hold things in until they blow up or they’re having a bad day and their anger or frustration comes across as disproportional and it very well may be. However, that doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t have a point. So, take a good hard look at yourself and ask yourself if there is any truth in this at all? Is there something you’re doing that you could be doing better or should be doing differently? You may need to rewrite their comment and take out the hate speech to really see if their point is valid.
- What is going on in this person’s life that could be causing them to react the way they are? Whatever is going on in their life isn’t an excuse to spread hate, but at least it can help you understand why they’re acting this way.
- Did I interpret what they were saying correctly? We all have different perspectives. Just because we think someone meant something a particular way, doesn’t mean they did. We live in a world where perception is reality, however, it may be more beneficial to make sure you’re interpreting the message the way the intended.
If you’ve gone through all of these and you’re sure that it’s their problem not yours, then it’s time to move on. If the person is just being mean and hateful, there is nothing you can do to change their mind. Don’t get caught up in a debate you can’t win. Hateful people aren’t rational. No amount of facts or opinions is going to change their mind. Like I said, change comes from within.
The best thing you can do to protect yourself is to focus on personal development. Do all the things you need to do to increase your own confidence and self esteem. The more you fall in love with yourself, the more mentally strong you will be. Ever notice how people who are really confident are completely un-phased by other people’s BS? That’s awesome! And, that’s your goal. So, take care of you! Start working out, eat healthy, start dressing in a way that makes you feel good about yourself, redirect your energy into learning something new, be kind, set goals and start achieving them. Overtime, what you’ll notice as you’re on top of your own game, you won’t even notice their petty attempts to put you down.