I made a mistake, now what? Get over it! Wait, what? Yep, that’s right you have to learn to make mistakes and continue on without beating yourself up. I know it’s hard. I’ve struggled with this my whole life! I never realized it was possible to make a mistake, get back up and try again. You see, when I made a make a mistake I would incessantly scold myself, and then try again. Do you see how that can be a problem?
It wasn’t until I was watching my daughter practice her gymnastics skills that I realized it was possible to simply make a mistake and then try again sans the negative self talk. The first time I noticed, I was floored. At 39 years old, it never occurred to me not to scold myself. Yet my 5 year old did it without thinking. She was trying to do handstands and she kept falling. Each time she fell she got back up shrugged her shoulders and tried again. That was it! It blew my mind. We could all learn something from Layla! So, how do we go from mean girl to being more like Layla?
Step 1: Figure Out Why You’re Chiding Yourself For Making a Mistake
First, it’s important to figure out why you do what you do. My bet is you feel inadequate. Someone somewhere down the line made you feel like you weren’t good enough. It could’ve been a parent, sibling, teacher, boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife someone did or said something to you that resulted in you feeling worthless. It is now your job to figure out exactly what happened. This is one of the hardest parts, grab a notebook and a pen and start writing. Yes, write it out! Write down every incident in as much detail as possible. Allow yourself to feel the emotion. Don’t worry about the law of attraction coming back to bite right now!
Step 2: Can You Forgive?
Step 2 is forgiveness. Can you forgive? Sometimes, people who care for us hurt us. It’s not always intentional. Empathize…did they say or do it to try and protect you? Were they doing the best they could with the resources they had? I grew up in an abusive household. My mother was an alcoholic and my father went to prison. I am able to look back and put myself in my mother’s shoes. She was poor, had 4 kids, and was reliant on my father. She felt trapped and didn’t know what to do. Staying wasn’t right, but she was afraid. Drugs and alcohol were an escape. I can forgive that. Just to be clear, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget what they did and allow them back in your life. I forgave my mother, but never trusted her with my own children.
Step 3: When Forgiveness Doesn’t Work
So, what happens when you just can’t forgive someone? Are you doomed to a life of misery? Nope! I realize that there are people who can forgive anyone regardless of how heinous the crime. That is wonderful. I am not one of those people! And, I know I’m not the only one. Guess what? That’s ok. Lucky for you, you just spent however much time journaling about the ins and outs of what happened. You know that what happened to you wasn’t your fault. You know you did nothing wrong. So, let it go! It’s not your shame to own. It’s unreasonable to expect that you can control someone else’s actions. I know letting go isn’t easy. It’s hard!
How To Let It Go:
- Affirmations. I’m a big proponent of the law of attraction. One of the things any law of attraction guru will tell you is that affirmations are powerful. You can convince your conscious mind of anything you want by repeating it over and over. Say it out loud. Write it out. Don’t stop until you believe it. And, I promise if you do this enough it will become your truth.
- Reiki. Reiki is the art of energy healing. In its most basic form, it works by balancing the chakras. There are 7 chakras and each chakra is connected to a different endocrine glands. If a blocked with negative energy, different emotional and physical symptoms manifest. You can visit a Reiki therapist in your area or take a class to learn more. I personally would do both. Studying Reiki is actually quite interesting.
- Acupuncture. Essentially acupuncture is the practice of sticking tiny little needles in specific points in the body to relieve various types of pain, including emotional. Some say it has a neurological effect and others say it works by balancing energy. Either way, it’s worth a shot.
- Yoga. Is there really anything yoga can’t fix? All joking aside, it is great way to calm your mind, focus your attention, balance your energy, and is a great workout too!
- Meditation. Speaking of calming your mind and focusing your attention, a daily meditation practice can do wonders for our spirit and emotional wellbeing. There are many different meditation methods so don’t fret if the first one you try doesn’t work for you. Also, some forms of mediation are kind of like a fine wine, they get better with time😁
- Pranic healing. I’m unfamiliar with this method, but came across it while researching additional healing methods and apparently it’s a top ranked method. So, probably worth try.
- Quantum Healing. In a nutshell it uses breath work and visualization to move energy throughout the body.
- Qigong. It’s an ancient Chinese practice. This therapy uses coordinated movements, breathing, and meditation to stimulate better health and spirituality.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If all else fails, you can always try contacting a local or sometimes online counselor.
Whichever method or methods you choose to use I would love to hear how it turned out for you. So, please leave comments or reach out to me on social media.